Otherness posits that there are large groups of people with whom you have nothing in common, not even a discernible shared humanity. Not only are these groups profoundly different from you, they are also, covertly, somehow less: Less worthy. Less moral. Less good. This sense of otherness is the single most pernicious force in American discourse. The not-like-us ethos makes so much bigotry possible: Racism, sexism, homophobia. -
Anna Quindlen
How do you communicate in otherness?
Your are surrounded in a world of otherness. Or is the otherness is you?
If all the world is otherness is otherness even 'otherness' anymore?
Is it possible to adaptable communcators?
To commincate well with all the otherness in you world?
Your are surrounded in a world of otherness. Or is the otherness is you?
If all the world is otherness is otherness even 'otherness' anymore?
Is it possible to adaptable communcators?
To commincate well with all the otherness in you world?
There is so much otherness in New Zealand. Until i moved to Auckland id never heard so many negative things about otherness. Asian drivers, Asians taking over the world, Indians and their curry smelling houses and dairy's all over the place, homeless bums, Maori's and islanders- 'lock your cars and take your goods out of your car in this neighbourhood', gays, solo teen mums living on WINZ sucking up our taxes and many more. Then add on top the social structures of the country; man vs. woman, what is means to be successful, what a kiwi man is, what a kiwi woman is, class system etc. THEN add on physicality's; too fat, too skinny, too black/brown, blind, deaf, paralyzed and so on.
New Zealand is FULL of otherness! To communicate in New Zealand takes huge acceptance of otherness and adaptability.
We SUCK at it
I remember being in Cambodia having a conversation with two women there from the bible college. We were talking about beauty. These two women were beautiful but were convinced that they were ugly and worthless because they were not white! My otherness of white meant they instantly felt i was better then them, that it meant beauty and privilege!
I have a friend who is from Sri Lanka, he brakes down the brariers of otherness by joking about his blackness. We were out to coffee the other day and when the cashier told him how much he gave her a big smile and said "plus a discount coz I'm black?". Ice was broken she smile and relaxed. Because New Zealand women generally feel uncomfortable around Indian looking men.
I recently meet a guy from India who speaks his fluent origin tongue and fluent English with kiwi accent. He explained to me that sometimes he feels like he is outcast in both contexts. When his is with kiwi people he knows the stigma that comes with being Indian so he has a kiwi accent and jokes about being Indian before they do to break down the barriers. Then when he is with the Indian people they cast him off thinking he is just a kiwi Indian until he speaks his language to show his is fully Indian too so he will be accepted.
A few months ago i had dinner with a homeless person. (Notice how they are not normal people in New Zealand, we dehumanise them to 'homeless person'). We chatted about what they had been reading but I still found it hard to talk to them like they were a fellow person. I didn't want to and hopefully it will pass. But none the less I am learning to communicate with the otherness of a person being homeless.
In the world of teenagers
where the otherness run wild.
In the form of who and how and where
of communication it is the only reason for living,
school, malls, party's or youth group
are the training ground for communication for otherness.
In the World of teenagers
it is Otherness Vs. Communication
where the otherness run wild.
In the form of who and how and where
of communication it is the only reason for living,
school, malls, party's or youth group
are the training ground for communication for otherness.
In the World of teenagers
it is Otherness Vs. Communication
Uniquely this isn't an issue for my youth group. The more otherness the better for them. It is hugely fascinating to watch and learn from them. There is one girl in particular the will go up to anyone and be able to communicate with them.
So are you adaptable, are you willing, can you embrace, can you look beyond, can you learn from and can you change for the otherness in your world?
Would you? could you? should you?
What you say, what you think, how you act all effect communication.
Lastly i think to ignore or pass off someone's otherness is to ignore or pass off a part on them. Avoiding it doesn't make better communication.
And sometimes it's the very otherness of a stranger, someone who doesn't belong to our ethnic or ideological or religious group, an otherness that can repel us initially, but which can jerk us out of our habitual selfishness, and give us intonations of that sacred otherness, which is God.
-Karen Armstrong
4 comments:
Good blog Ana.
We get scared of otherness, too much difference is very threatening. Sometimes the only thing I hold out hope for is generational change, but that takes so much time. It seems sometimes that new generations don't hold to the prejudices their parents hold to. And slowly but surely the "other" stops been seen as the "other". But then there are always new "others". :-)
On a personal level I've found that a relational motivation is a big key. Getting to know "others' one-on-one breaks down so many barriers.
Jonathan
Hey - I think one of the hardest things, which you hint about in your post is that we have such different perspectives on rules and their exceptions that we go between not describing someone by these rules to polarising them from 'our' view of society! It's hypocritical and shows the deeper issue - that we struggle to identify on common terms, with common language and have security in being able to attach understandings to others - a truly ongoing issue!
Very Interesting comments Ana. As a Pacific Islanders lived in New Zealand for 20 years, I experienced a varieties of differences compare to my island country of Samoa. the difference in cultures, difference races, difference churches, difference education etc..How are we going to bring that gap of differences into ONE country called AOTEAROA. We must understand ourselves first then seeking to know and understand others and be prepare to accept their values, beliefs, cultures especially their rights. (Ieriko)
@ Eve and Riko,
Let us take note the it is the power of the church that really shows us how this IS and is NOW being acomplished. In the early church and in current present day churches our we are brought together by the power of God's Spirit. John 13 Jesus asks it of the disciples. This is how we are a wittness to the world, by our love for our brothers and sisters in Christ. This surpasses differences no matter what form Because it is Jesus love through us. Surely this is still the only way today. Surely this how we show the world the church is more than just similar type people meeting like a club. This is how we show the God is real, present and moving in a group of people.
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